Obama Challenges Clinton

The following memo was issued by the Obama campaign late last Saturday:

Dear Maggie [Williams]:

Despite being on different sides of this primary, we share an excitement at seeing millions of new Democratic voters registering and going to the polls.  But don't we owe it to those voters to give them the opportunity to see how our candidates fare in a truly stressful situation...a situation well known to be key in passing the oft mentioned "Commander-in-Chief threshold"?  

Senator Obama believes deeply that hot dog eating contests are a vital part of our democratic process.  It is the American way to place our would-be leaders side by side to watch them gorge on low quality "meat"; to challenge each other to set a record pace; to celebrate their achievements; and to throw up after it is all over.

This year marks the 92nd anniversary of the first Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Competition, a series of public orgies of gluttony in New York where those who fear no heart attack put their guts on the line.  I have no doubt that Senator Clinton, who hails from that great state, understands how valuable and vital these national tests of gluttony are to the heart of America.  We can surely meet the standard our forbearers did.  Our final two primary candidates to date have had zero hot dog eating contests.  Isn't it time we gorged?

Sincerely,

Takeru Kobayashi
Manager of Ridiculous Challenges
Six Time Hot Dog Eating Champion
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